The male brain. I'm dying to get inside and peek around a bit. It remains a mystery to all women. Sure, we like to joke that we could figure it out, just Google search 'male brain' and check out the images. They're hysterical.
Recently though, I went out with a group of old guy friends and we began discussing relationships, etc.
What a revelation!
Let's say my friend's name is Rob*. Rob was telling me about his new "not serious" girlfriend, Megan. Rob and Megan have been "hooking up" since November. This past semester, Rob studied abroad in Europe. Rob and Megan did not DTR or anything before Rob left, which is fine, as there was nothing established between them. Before Rob left for Europe, Megan said she was going to come visit him. ...honey, bad move. Or so I thought.
When Rob first got to Europe in January, he said that he and Megan really didn't talk very much. Then, around March, they began chatting again and really never stopped. She was planning her trip to come visit. They began to Skype (video chat) almost daily. One day over video chat they made a bet. The wager was that if Rob won, then she would have to go out with him. Is this real life? So now they are dating.
Three or so weeks later, she gets to Europe and they travel around together. He takes her to Paris and Madrid, I believe. And they still 'aren't serious.' He told me that they established that they have no intent to become serious, and he just wants to date casually for once, without the expectation of things becoming more serious. He even told her not to fall in love with him. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
As we continued to discuss their relationship, Rob added that he might want to break up with Megan soon, as he fears that she is way more into the relationship than he is. Really? I wonder what made you think that. He is visiting her hometown, and Megan wants him get to know her parents better. And he is just now realizing that she may be more serious than he is. So Rob is thinking about cutting it off now so that she doesn't get her heart broken later. I can't make this stuff up.
Later in the evening, he and I were discussing what he first thinks when seeing a girl and deciding if he is interested in her/wants to go up and talk to her. He boiled it down to three main criteria:
1. Is she attractive? Would he want to make out with her?
2. Is he intimidated by her? How far out of his league is she? It's okay to be a little above him, but he doesn't want to set himself up for embarrassment/failure.
3. Is he protective of her? Does he want to save her/rescue her/protect her?
Then, and only then, will she be up for consideration.
I am still slightly befuddled by all of this. If you have any recent insights into the male brain, please share them with me!
all my love,
*all names are fictional for the safety and anonymity of dumb men.